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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241645">Cartman’s Incredible Gift</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oblivionprice/pseuds/oblivionprice'>oblivionprice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Enemies to Friends, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Frenemies, Friendship, Gen, Memory Loss, Temporary Amnesia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oblivionprice/pseuds/oblivionprice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An ill-fated flying attempt lands Eric Cartman in the hospital - much to his arch-enemy, Kyle Broflovski’s, delight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“...It’s not gonna work. Just come down from there,” came the even tone of Stan Marsh, equal parts concern and annoyance edging his voice. Such was how he typically had to speak to their overly stupid friend. The concern was always well-hidden, though.</p><p>This was what Kyle Broflovski heard as he approached the group of boys, trudging through the snow until he reached Kenny’s side. “What’s going on?” Surely there had to be a good reason for their classmates to voluntarily gather in Eric Cartman’s backyard.</p><p>“Cartman thinks he can fly off of his roof,” Stan explained with a sigh, looking back skywards. Kyle decided to follow his best friend’s gaze. That sentence alone was not enough to quell his curiosity.</p><p>Holy fuck. It was finally happening. Cartman was going to die - or at least seriously injure himself - and Kyle hadn’t even had to lift a finger. For the asshole himself was standing on the edge of his roof, sporting what appeared to be homemade wings composed of cardboard across his arms. He at least had the sense, somehow, to don a helmet, but… He was so unbelievably stupid, and Kyle could relish the taste of his own medicine that Eric was about to receive.</p><p>“Do it,” the redhead called up in excitement. “Do it!”</p><p>“I’m gonna!” Cartman shouted indignantly from his perch up on the roof. How the fatass even got up there in the first place was miraculous in its own right. This entire morning was a miracle, Kyle could conclude.</p><p>“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Craig commented loudly for Cartman to hear, somewhere in the small group behind him. Kyle gritted his teeth.</p><p>“Those wings don’t look very strong,” added Token. Oh, please, Kyle thought. This was going to be the greatest day of their lives.</p><p>“Don’t listen to ‘em, Cartman!” Kyle hurriedly interjected before Eric could change his mind. Meeting the idiot’s eyes, he mustered up his most encouraging smile. “I’m sure it’ll work. Go for it! Yaaay, Cartman, fly fly fly!”</p><p>Much to Kyle’s delight, Eric listened, taking another step forward towards the edge of his roof. “‘Kay, here we go.” Kyle watched as the boy took a deep breath and cleared his throat, merely rolling his eyes in response. “Since the days of Copernicus, man has dreamed of flight. On this historic day, let us go on to-“</p><p>“Aww, go on and do it already!” Kyle shouted. This couldn’t happen soon enough. It had to be Cartman’s greatest idea, amongst all his idiotic failure schemes. This was the best one yet.</p><p>“Hold on, I’m givin’ my speech!” Cartman yelled back. “On this historic day, we remember the Wright Brothers: Orville and Redenbacher, whose dreams and visions inspired generations...”</p><p>“He’s not gonna do it,” Stan mumbled to Kenny, shaking his head. Kyle begged to differ - Cartman was more than stupid enough to try and pull this off. All they had to do was wait.</p><p>“And now, again, one man’s vision ushers in a new era of aerial travel, proving the power of imagination and intellect. The magic... of flight!”</p><p>Kyle watched as Eric began to flap his poorly-constructed wings, finally taking his leap of faith off the roof. The boys all stared wide-eyed as he sailed straight towards the ground, landing motionless in the snow with a muffled sound. Then, silence.</p><p>For one horrible moment, Kyle actually felt guilty for encouraging the stupid idea. Staring at the unmoving lump that was Cartman’s form on the cold ground, the ginger almost regretted it.</p><p>But Stan began to walk away, which snapped Kyle out of his own train of thought. It wasn’t his fault, it was Cartman’s. It was his dumb idea and he deserved some broken bones anyway. After all, there was no one he tormented and bullied more than Kyle.</p><p>This was just the top rung of Cartman’s ladder of terrible ideas, and Kyle didn’t need to stick around for the aftermath. He turned and followed Stan, knowing that their asshole ‘friend’ would be back to his awful self before long, no doubt composing another ridiculous scheme.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh boy. So this fic is based on S8E13: Cartman’s Incredible Gift, of course. Things are going to go a little differently though, and definitely self-indulgent on my part. I hope you enjoy bros</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paying Cartman a visit in the hospital was Kenny’s idea. Kyle wouldn’t have bothered himself, but the idea of rubbing the fat boy’s stupidity in his face was appealing enough to motivate him.</p><p>Besides, Eric’s mother had called them from the waiting room, too - sounding a lot more worried than she should have. Surely Liane Cartman knew what a dumbass her son was, Kyle had to wonder. But she always babied him no matter how awful he behaved, so perhaps she was simply too soft to care.</p><p>The fiery redhead pouted as he trailed behind Stan and Kenny towards the room, crossing his arms across his chest. He disliked the hospital, having been a patient here one too many times himself. The overwhelming sterile scent and squeaky monochrome floors reminded him of his diabetes, and other health problems he’d struggled through over his nine years of life.</p><p>All of it had just served as more material for Cartman to rip on him for, even when he was practically at his deathbed. Kyle couldn’t wait to see the look on Eric’s face when he was the one stuck under hospital sheets instead. The tables had turned, and Kyle was so ready to let him have it.</p><p>That was until Liane noticed their arrival and rushed over, pulling a confused Stan into a tight hug before they knew what was happening. She sounded like she was sobbing, and Kyle took a step backwards to avoid getting squeezed against his will too. Kenny was glad to hug the woman next, however, eagerly holding her legs while she wiped at her face.</p><p>“I c-can’t believe - this happening to my darling pookie-kins-“ Liane blubbered out finally, her voice catching in her throat through her tears. Kyle tried to keep his eye-rolling to a minimum at that pet name. Her son was anything but ‘darling’.</p><p>“It was all his own idea, we didn’t have anything to do with it,” Stan felt the need to explain, but Eric’s mother seemed too distraught to listen. Kyle wondered if the fall had broken Cartman’s nose or something, causing her to cry this much. Personally, he thought that would be hilarious. The cherry on top of this whole situation, really. This was sweet revenge, and he knew that Cartman deserved every last bit of what was coming to him.</p><p>“Can we go see him?” Kyle piped up, interrupting whatever Liane had been trying to express throughout her sobs. He tried his best to look innocent, when really he simply couldn’t wait to go laugh at that stupid asshole. Thankfully, his mother managed to calm down enough to cross the hallway, opening the door to Cartman’s hospital room with a sniffle. She let them in while she lingered behind, apparently too upset to follow.</p><p>Kyle could hardly keep a smile off his face as the boys filed in, seeing Cartman sitting up against his pillows with a bandage wrapped around his head. His brown hair stuck up messily underneath the cloth, and he looked as though he didn’t want to be awake. The chubby boy didn’t seem to appreciate their visit, either, staring blankly back at his three friends. Kyle crossed his arms tighter, considering that he could have just stayed home. He didn’t have to bother coming all this way to visit. It pissed him off, and he could feel his smile fading quickly.</p><p>“Well, fatass? Your invention didn’t go so well?” he griped sharply, no longer wanting to wait for Stan or Kenny to speak first. The least Cartman could do was greet them now that they were here. After all, he didn’t appear too injured. But the idiot was uncharacteristically quiet.</p><p>“Who are you?” Cartman asked flatly, furrowing his brow.</p><p>“Very funny, asshole,” Kyle rolled his eyes wholeheartedly now that Liane wasn’t in the room. He dropped his arms and headed over to sit on the edge of Cartman’s stark white bed, Stan following suit on the opposite end. “Why’re you still here, anyway? You don’t look any more deformed than you already did.”</p><p>Eric looked alarmed, suddenly scooting backwards on his bed with his fat hand drifting towards the nurse call button. “Can you get off, I seriously don’t know who you guys are.” His voice was angry, but Kyle was quite used to that sound and didn’t flinch nor make a move to obey.</p><p>Kenny appeared to be uncomfortable with Cartman’s dumb game, though, shuffling his scuffed sneakers on the linoleum floor. “Mrph-mrm, mrpht mrph-n mh mm,” came the sound of the boy’s quiet, muffled voice beneath his parka hood.</p><p>The patient shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re saying, dude. Or what you’re doing here. I don’t know you,” Eric responded, sounded more and more confused by the minute.</p><p>“This really isn’t funny, Cartman,” Stan scolded flatly, though he did move off of the fatso’s hospital bed, carefully returning to Kenny’s side. Kyle began to feel uneasy.</p><p>“Who’s Cartman?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gasp. Also WOW thank you for the support already u guys are cool</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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